Hollywood, CA ICBTS News A food service worker at the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood narrowly escaped a large rolling ball of pure sanctimony that slid off the stage, past several crew members and into a temporary work area. Hector Ruiz of Documented Catering Services was given first aid treatment for an abrasion he received..
Category: Satire - page 5
Redwood City, CA ICBTS News It’s usually the moment when the whole congregation erupts in applause, but when Derek Woods was given permission by the minister to kiss his bride, Debbie Thurgood, their best man suddenly took a knee at the front of the church, along with several groomsmen. “Listen,” explained best man Harold Foster,..
Caibarién, Cuba ICBTS News — Not everyone is complaining about the horrific category 5 hurricane winds brought on by hurricane Irma this week. In some tiny Cuban seaside towns, the storm surge and strong winds actually made things look certainly askew — but actually a tad cleaner. “You always lose some palm trees in a hurricane,”..
Popular USB 3.0 “Type C” Cable Subject to Ideological Restrictions If you’re an evangelical Christian or a supporter of lower taxation, you might be going back to a land line soon. A consortium of cable manufacturers wants to make sure ideological conservatives of various sorts can’t buy the popular “type c” USB cable necessary for..
It’s been a weird, weary week, folks. I’m in the history business, after all, and history is taking a severe beating. Everything has to be dismantled. Everything must go. It’s all on sale. The pyramids, the ancient Assyrian relics–subject to the sledge-hammers of ISIS. Robert E. Lee needs to be hoisted off with a crane…
VATICAN (ICBTS News) Highly placed confidential sources close to Pope Francis may help explain the recent trip and fall incidents plaguing the holy father. He is apparently experiencing a great deal of fatigue from cosmetic surgery designed to make him look more like 1950s television star William Frawley who played the character Fred Mertz in I..
PEELER, IOWA (ICBTS News) An advance team prepping for Hilary Clinton’s Tuesday appearance here awkwardly stalled and then admitted the candidate had cancelled all Sunday meetings in order to binge watch Amazon Studios “The Man in the High Castle.” Set in 1962, the period counterfactual drama, based on the novel by Philip K. Dick, asks the..
Glendrop, Texas (Rooters) The waiting paid off for 30 Glendrop University freshmen yesterday, even if they are a little ugly. After three days of occupying the women’s locker and shower facilities at memorial stadium, university president Dale Hatch agreed to both a) resign and b) obligate the university to the construction of a horny safe..
iChurch? There’s a new gold rush on in California, and it comes with its own praise music. According to confidential industry insiders, three of Silicon Valley’s biggest technology firms are in bidding wars to buy up the nation’s largest churches. “Not many pastors are truly entertaining,” said a stock market analyst close to the acquisition..
Some years ago, I was on the phone with a woman from Minnesota. It was a January day in Southern California — a very crisp, cold 58 degrees or so. I remember how cold it was because it was one of the few days I had the impulse to wear a t-shirt under my..