Plains, Georgia ICBTS News – Witnesses describe a disheveled Jimmy Carter sitting on the curb, explaining his side of an altercation that took place between former President Carter and his wife Rosalynn, shortly after 11 PM Sunday night. “These things happen,” said Sergeant Ronnie ‘Ducks’ Hickson, of the Plains sheriff’s department. Earlier in the evening,..
Category: Satire - page 5
Internationally famous entertainment magnate Oprah Winfrey has returned from a recent trip to Utah in a state of depression over the lack of racism on display in various retail outlets around the city of Salt Lake. “I’ve never seen her this down,” said a source close to Oprah’s travel coordination team. “We were able to..
Madison, WI (Rueters) – A groundbreaking study out of Hollick University is shedding new light on the mysterious ritual of dating. In a $10 million federally funded research project, studies indicated the vast majority of men who ask a woman out on a date, only to be turned down, feel disappointment. “In case after case,”..
Boston (Rooters) – Psychologists at Mather University have just made public the results of a three year, $25 million federal study on the effects of positive, well-intended criticism: apparently, people don’t like it. “We followed 1200 subjects,” said professor Arnold Rosen, “all of whom self-identified as people who genuinely want to improve their lives by..
Washington (Rueters) – According to a new White House report, health care exchanges all over the country are seeing dramatic enrollment increases among a special kind of fortunate citizen: lottery winners. “It’s very dramatic,” said press secretary Jay Carney, “we’re seeing increases among lottery winners by not just single percentage factors but — and I..