Madison, WI – ICBTS News
In the wake of thousands of sexual harassment claims made by women against men in political and media circles, a group of male professors at Hollick University are coming forward, anonymously for now, against women who abuse greetings, “side hugs” and in some cases the full frontal, lingering embrace.
“It’s time to begin to recognize that a woman’s breasts can be used as a tool of sexual aggression,” said one post doctoral candidate. “I can’t tell you the number of female colleagues, over the years, who abuse the side hug, clutching my neck, or my shoulder, and then brushing their side boob up against my hip. The height difference can make the whole thing very awkward.”
“There we were,” said another, “taking a faculty senate picture and a Comp Lit adjunct blatantly pressed her side boob against my waist. I mean — there was actual pressure. Sustained pressure. Just because fingers aren’t involved doesn’t make it any less abusive.”
One political science professor broke down when he recounted a full frontal embrace. “Gargantuan breasts held up against my chest for at least 30 seconds,” he said. “In the name of bonding, or unity or something. There is just no excuse for that. It’s time to start calling out the boob grope.”
An undergraduate engineering major was scolded for observing, “it can be kind of a kick if that one secretary in admissions does it.”
He faced a round of purple, but vaguely uncertain sounding condemnation.
