Category: Satire

Satire, Parody

Harvard Revokes Admission After David Hogg Admits He Enjoyed “Friends” as a Child

Cambridge, MA • ICBTS News A rattled David Hogg was escorted off the Harvard Campus yesterday as troubling news leaked about a confession he made to a fellow student regarding his childhood affection for the hetero-normative television sit-com, “Friends.” “Confessions simply aren’t enough,” said fellow student, Ming Lee-Trowbridge.  “The fact that David actually laughed at such horribly..

Read more

Fauci Cool With Trump Rallies, if Boot-Licking Encouraged

A Health Policy Change Every Few Hours Dr. Anthony Fauci, reversed his course on Trump rallies, a few hours after warning against them, after learning thousands of “Black Hebrew Israelites” would be offering boot-licking racial forgiveness opportunities on the way into the assemblies. “This obviously changes everything,” Fauci said, in answer to a question from..

Read more

Kneeling Mitt Offers Racial Reconciliation Bunion Surgery

New York, NY • ICBTS News Fresh from a racial-reconciliation feet washing ceremony, Utah Senator Mitt Romney has upped the stakes in the effort to achieve race-reconciliation and race-forgiveness: free bunion surgery. “I was washing the feet of several African American ministers,” Mitt said, “and I couldn’t help noticing a few of them were suffering from..

Read more

We Care!

Public Health is Your Health At this trying chapter in world history, those of us here at Thurgood Foods–and all of our affiliates, (including some of your favorite brands “Los Pollos Hermanos,” “Cheers,” and “Café Nervosa”)–want to assure all of you that our first priority is the safety and health of our guests in the..

Read more

Unmasked Emojis Send Michigan Governor Into A Rage

ICBTS News • Lansing, Michigan Michigan leadership has gone to war against unmasked Facebook emojis. “Just try me,” Governor Gretchen Whitmer said, according to an unnamed source, “and see if I don’t get Facebook shut down completely in Michigan, using the emergency powers act.” Social media consultants in the governor’s office were alarmed to see that the..

Read more