Category: Satire

Satire, Parody

Bill Kristol Sets Sights on 2020 Presidential Run

Georgetown, Washington, DC • ICBTS News At the posh Newman-George Badminton Club, Bill Kristol, the former editor of the Weekly Standard, announced his intention to run for the GOP Presidential nomination in 2020. “Should I secure the nomination,” Kristol said to at least two dozen club members taking high tea, “it’s very likely that a dynamic..

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“Hebrew Roots” Woman Goes Full Eden

Mesa, Arizona • ICTBS News Arlyce Simms, 63, now out on bail after her 2nd public nudity arrest, insists on being called “Chava,” (Hebrew for “Eve”) in homage to the Creation story recorded in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. “I had been protesting that horrible homage to pagan idolatry, Christmas, at a local mall,”..

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Gov Cuomo: Building Permits for Gingerbread Houses

Croghan, New York • ICBTS News Building gingerbread houses is a long standing tradition in the upstate New York village of Croghan, but a group of young mothers and their children received a rude surprise when state officials burst into their children’s party with weapons drawn. “On the floor!” yelled one code enforcement official, “lock your..

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“Boob Grope” Support Group Formed

Madison, WI – ICBTS News In the wake of thousands of sexual harassment claims made by women against men in political and media circles, a group of male professors at Hollick University are coming forward, anonymously for now, against women who abuse greetings, “side hugs” and in some cases the full frontal, lingering embrace. “It’s..

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After Clicking, Ohio Man Reads ENTIRE Article

Columbus, OH • ICBTS News In a development social network engineers are worried about, an Ohio construction manager, Tim Tedesco, was recently identified as a news and blog reader who goes beyond the Open Graph description property, clicks the link, and—even more concerning—reads the entire article. Using sophisticated scroll-bar analysis, Tedesco’s account was flagged as a..

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New Study: Pearl Clutching Men Less Attractive

Madison, WI • ICBTS News Hollick University researchers have concluded a study covering the reaction of women to men who “pearl clutch” and have concluded that sexual revulsion is five times more likely in women observing men who compulsively signal fear and peevish disdain when faced with stimulus that is considered trivial. The study was conducted..

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Breaking: Mitch McConnell Backseat Observer on Roy Moore Dates

Washington, DC — ICBTS News At a press conference this morning, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell revealed personal, first hand knowledge of Judge Roy Moore dating indiscretions taking place more than 40 years ago.  Appearing next to famed feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, McConnell revealed that he could confirm inappropriate behavior on the part of Judge..

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