Category: Satire

Satire, Parody

Traditional Russian Collusion Fellowships Losing Members

Madison, WI – ICBTS News A new study from Hollick University indicates that the once thriving Russian Collusion denomination is rapidly losing membership, especially among younger worshipers. “In the beginning it was really exciting,” said 24 year old Matt Sperling, sporting a #WalkAway t-shirt. “I can remember having a lot of faith that Adam Schiff..

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Devil Denies Meeting with White Evangelicals over Reparations

Washington, DC • ICBTS News A gaunt and exasperated Lucifer took a break from a global environmental conference yesterday to assure reporters that–contrary to the claims of  prominent Southern Baptist Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile–opposition to reparations is not the “devil’s work.” “Let’s keep our eyes on the prize,” said the Prince of Darkness, “this green new deal..

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Ocasio-Cortez: College Bribe Funding Is A Human Right

Washington, DC • ICBTS News In the wake of federal indictments against powerful industry titans and celebrities who have been accused of gaining their children’s elite college admission through bribery, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has weighed in on the side of more bribe funding. “Why,” asked the congresswoman, “should only the rich and powerful have a Stanford..

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Bill Kristol Sets Sights on 2020 Presidential Run

Georgetown, Washington, DC • ICBTS News At the posh Newman-George Badminton Club, Bill Kristol, the former editor of the Weekly Standard, announced his intention to run for the GOP Presidential nomination in 2020. “Should I secure the nomination,” Kristol said to at least two dozen club members taking high tea, “it’s very likely that a dynamic..

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“Hebrew Roots” Woman Goes Full Eden

Mesa, Arizona • ICTBS News Arlyce Simms, 63, now out on bail after her 2nd public nudity arrest, insists on being called “Chava,” (Hebrew for “Eve”) in homage to the Creation story recorded in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. “I had been protesting that horrible homage to pagan idolatry, Christmas, at a local mall,”..

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Gov Cuomo: Building Permits for Gingerbread Houses

Croghan, New York • ICBTS News Building gingerbread houses is a long standing tradition in the upstate New York village of Croghan, but a group of young mothers and their children received a rude surprise when state officials burst into their children’s party with weapons drawn. “On the floor!” yelled one code enforcement official, “lock your..

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“Boob Grope” Support Group Formed

Madison, WI – ICBTS News In the wake of thousands of sexual harassment claims made by women against men in political and media circles, a group of male professors at Hollick University are coming forward, anonymously for now, against women who abuse greetings, “side hugs” and in some cases the full frontal, lingering embrace. “It’s..

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