The Director of MOO (Ministry of Outcomes) Congressional Testimony Opening Statement (Sometime in the not too distant future) Members of Congress thank you for allowing me this time to address what has become an embarrassing reality for the 15,000 federal employees who have given their lives to MOO. As you know, Congress established MOO, the..
Georgetown, Washington, DC • ICBTS News At the posh Newman-George Badminton Club, Bill Kristol, the former editor of the Weekly Standard, announced his intention to run for the GOP Presidential nomination in 2020. “Should I secure the nomination,” Kristol said to at least two dozen club members taking high tea, “it’s very likely that a dynamic..
Mesa, Arizona • ICTBS News Arlyce Simms, 63, now out on bail after her 2nd public nudity arrest, insists on being called “Chava,” (Hebrew for “Eve”) in homage to the Creation story recorded in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. “I had been protesting that horrible homage to pagan idolatry, Christmas, at a local mall,”..
Croghan, New York • ICBTS News Building gingerbread houses is a long standing tradition in the upstate New York village of Croghan, but a group of young mothers and their children received a rude surprise when state officials burst into their children’s party with weapons drawn. “On the floor!” yelled one code enforcement official, “lock your..
Madison, WI – ICBTS News In the wake of thousands of sexual harassment claims made by women against men in political and media circles, a group of male professors at Hollick University are coming forward, anonymously for now, against women who abuse greetings, “side hugs” and in some cases the full frontal, lingering embrace. “It’s..
Minneapolis, MN — ICBTS News Reformed Pastor whips himself with cat o nine tails in penance for Trump Voters… Pastor John Piper, president of Bethlehem College & Seminar, shocked the reformed Evangelical world recently when he accused God of making a terrible mistake in allowing Donald Trump to be elected president. “Although I believe in the..
Columbus, OH • ICBTS News In a development social network engineers are worried about, an Ohio construction manager, Tim Tedesco, was recently identified as a news and blog reader who goes beyond the Open Graph description property, clicks the link, and—even more concerning—reads the entire article. Using sophisticated scroll-bar analysis, Tedesco’s account was flagged as a..
Madison, WI • ICBTS News Hollick University researchers have concluded a study covering the reaction of women to men who “pearl clutch” and have concluded that sexual revulsion is five times more likely in women observing men who compulsively signal fear and peevish disdain when faced with stimulus that is considered trivial. The study was conducted..
Minneapolis, Minnesota — ICBTS News “Before We Could Even Get It Out of the Crate” While pursuing a “time of reflection” at home in response to the Leeann Tweeden sex scandal, Senator Franken sustained a nasty injury to his left eye after attempting to sample the wares of a sex robot provided to the senator free..
Washington, DC — ICBTS News At a press conference this morning, Senate Majority leader Mitch McConnell revealed personal, first hand knowledge of Judge Roy Moore dating indiscretions taking place more than 40 years ago. Appearing next to famed feminist attorney, Gloria Allred, McConnell revealed that he could confirm inappropriate behavior on the part of Judge..