Madison, WI – ICBTS News A new study from Hollick University indicates that the once thriving Russian Collusion denomination is rapidly losing membership, especially among younger worshipers. “In the beginning it was really exciting,” said 24 year old Matt Sperling, sporting a #WalkAway t-shirt. “I can remember having a lot of faith that Adam Schiff..
Washington, DC • ICBTS News A gaunt and exasperated Lucifer took a break from a global environmental conference yesterday to assure reporters that–contrary to the claims of prominent Southern Baptist Pastor Thabiti Anyabwile–opposition to reparations is not the “devil’s work.” “Let’s keep our eyes on the prize,” said the Prince of Darkness, “this green new deal..
Washington, DC • ICBTS News In the wake of federal indictments against powerful industry titans and celebrities who have been accused of gaining their children’s elite college admission through bribery, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has weighed in on the side of more bribe funding. “Why,” asked the congresswoman, “should only the rich and powerful have a Stanford..
Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely… Mort This kinda marks a first of its kind, in the whole history of picking the Carrot Blossom Queen. Herb Why? What’s up? Mort Look at that one, 3rd from the right. Herb No. Mort Don’t say anything. Herb It’s a joke, right? Mort Not a joke. He, I..
The Director of MOO (Ministry of Outcomes) Congressional Testimony Opening Statement (Sometime in the not too distant future) Members of Congress thank you for allowing me this time to address what has become an embarrassing reality for the 15,000 federal employees who have given their lives to MOO. As you know, Congress established MOO, the..
Georgetown, Washington, DC • ICBTS News At the posh Newman-George Badminton Club, Bill Kristol, the former editor of the Weekly Standard, announced his intention to run for the GOP Presidential nomination in 2020. “Should I secure the nomination,” Kristol said to at least two dozen club members taking high tea, “it’s very likely that a dynamic..
Mesa, Arizona • ICTBS News Arlyce Simms, 63, now out on bail after her 2nd public nudity arrest, insists on being called “Chava,” (Hebrew for “Eve”) in homage to the Creation story recorded in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. “I had been protesting that horrible homage to pagan idolatry, Christmas, at a local mall,”..
Croghan, New York • ICBTS News Building gingerbread houses is a long standing tradition in the upstate New York village of Croghan, but a group of young mothers and their children received a rude surprise when state officials burst into their children’s party with weapons drawn. “On the floor!” yelled one code enforcement official, “lock your..
Madison, WI – ICBTS News In the wake of thousands of sexual harassment claims made by women against men in political and media circles, a group of male professors at Hollick University are coming forward, anonymously for now, against women who abuse greetings, “side hugs” and in some cases the full frontal, lingering embrace. “It’s..
Minneapolis, MN — ICBTS News Reformed Pastor whips himself with cat o nine tails in penance for Trump Voters… Pastor John Piper, president of Bethlehem College & Seminar, shocked the reformed Evangelical world recently when he accused God of making a terrible mistake in allowing Donald Trump to be elected president. “Although I believe in the..