Washington, DC • ICBTS News It was all going well until the denture-grip failed. During a routine racial reconciliation boot-licking event, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D – San Francisco), while trying to right herself after kissing the boots of an African American activist, slipped, came down hard, and bit the boot of “No Prisons Now” under-secretary..
Category: Satire - page 3
New York, NY • ICBTS News Fresh from a racial-reconciliation feet washing ceremony, Utah Senator Mitt Romney has upped the stakes in the effort to achieve race-reconciliation and race-forgiveness: free bunion surgery. “I was washing the feet of several African American ministers,” Mitt said, “and I couldn’t help noticing a few of them were suffering from..
Public Health is Your Health At this trying chapter in world history, those of us here at Thurgood Foods–and all of our affiliates, (including some of your favorite brands “Los Pollos Hermanos,” “Cheers,” and “Café Nervosa”)–want to assure all of you that our first priority is the safety and health of our guests in the..
Panorama City, CA • ICBTS News Speaking to his small fellowship from a Zoom feed, evangelical pastor Vance Ichabod told his following he had ordered “magistrate medallions” for each church member as a way of reminding them to always obey government authority, especially during this Covid-19 crisis. “I had just reached the halfway point in my..
ICBTS News • Lansing, Michigan Michigan leadership has gone to war against unmasked Facebook emojis. “Just try me,” Governor Gretchen Whitmer said, according to an unnamed source, “and see if I don’t get Facebook shut down completely in Michigan, using the emergency powers act.” Social media consultants in the governor’s office were alarmed to see that the..
“Sometimes a little inventive fright is good for public health..” BioGrenvale, a New York based green waste company, is quietly offering a new product for hospital administrators anxious to get in on Covid-19 relief funding: compost in human form. “We take a very finely decomposed leaf and grass base,” said company spokesman Harold Wong, “and..
Washington, DC — ICBTS News Congressional Intelligence Committee Chair, Adam Schiff (D-California), is planning to present dramatic testimony this week alleging that President Donald Trump personally commanded a North Korean death camp. A confidential source within the Congressman’s office refused to name the source of this new revelation but hinted, strongly, that it’s clear from..
Treadwell, CA — ICBTS News It was all well intended, that is until the crap hit the fan, or in this case, the beach. The Human Resources Inclusion team for the small coastal town of Treadwell, California had just finished a three day seminar for city workers outlining hand gestures and body language that could..
Madison, WI – ICBTS News In response to public fear of growing “white nationalism” expressed by organizations as diverse as the National Education Association, NPR, The Southern Poverty Law Center, and the Queer Socialist Workers Party, researchers at Hollick University set out to identify both a definition for “White Nationalism” and where it might be gaining..
McLean, VA — ICBTS News Presidential Candidate and former VP Joe Biden announced yesterday he will be leaving this week on what he is boldly calling an “International Shakedown Tour.” “It’s a sad reality, but in politics, you need to raise the bucks,” Biden said, “and I’ve found a fun and efficient way to do..