Category: Satire - page 4

Satire, Parody

Tech Firms Buying Up Mega-Churches

iChurch? There’s a new gold rush on in California, and it comes with its own praise music.  According to confidential industry insiders, three of Silicon Valley’s biggest technology firms are in bidding wars to buy up the nation’s largest churches. “Not many pastors are truly entertaining,” said a stock market analyst close to the acquisition..

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Jimmy Carter In Domestic Violence Dispute

Plains, Georgia ICBTS News – Witnesses describe a disheveled Jimmy Carter sitting on the curb, explaining his side of an altercation that took place between former President Carter and his wife Rosalynn, shortly after 11 PM Sunday night. “These things happen,” said Sergeant Ronnie ‘Ducks’ Hickson, of the Plains sheriff’s department.  Earlier in the evening,..

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Oprah Despondent Over Lack of Salt Lake City Racism

Internationally famous entertainment magnate Oprah Winfrey has returned from a recent trip to Utah in a state of depression over the lack of racism on display in various retail outlets around the city of Salt Lake. “I’ve never seen her this down,” said a source close to Oprah’s travel coordination team.  “We were able to..

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Study: Men Feel Dissapointed When Turned Down for a Date

Madison, WI (Rueters) – A groundbreaking study out of Hollick University is shedding new light on the mysterious ritual of dating. In a $10 million federally funded research project, studies indicated  the vast majority of men who ask a woman out on a date, only to be turned down, feel disappointment. “In case after case,”..

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Constructive Criticism Still Sucks

Boston (Rooters) – Psychologists at Mather University have just made public the results of a three year, $25 million federal study on the effects of positive, well-intended criticism:  apparently, people don’t like it. “We followed 1200 subjects,” said professor Arnold Rosen, “all of whom self-identified as people who genuinely want to improve their lives by..

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Lottery Winners Swell ACA Enrollment

Washington (Rueters) – According to a new White House report, health care exchanges all over the country are seeing dramatic enrollment increases among a special kind of fortunate citizen:  lottery winners. “It’s very dramatic,” said press secretary Jay Carney, “we’re seeing increases among lottery winners by not just single percentage factors but — and I..

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