Category: Satire - page 2

Satire, Parody

Toy Manufacturer: “Make Your Own Mandatory Inoculation Kit”

Neptune, Oregon  • ICBTS News A small west coast toy manufacturer is introducing a new child’s toy encouraging children to learn about the magic world of virology and its relationship to pandemics. “Yes, that’s part of it,” explained product manager Karen Monterman, “but the exciting thing about this kit and board game is that it encourages..

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Digital Passport For Public Restrooms

“Just about everything is up for grabs!” At a recent information industry trade show, one presenter was nearly beside himself with excitement about the revenue possibilities associated with digital passports, not just for vaccines, but for, well, “just about everything.” “Imagine not being able to unlock an airport restroom stall without your digital car insurance..

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Frustrated Scientists Propose New Campaign: “Trust the Scientists, Not the Science”

Out of concern for a mental breakdown suffered by Anthony Fauci during senate questioning by Dr. Rand Paul, a group of public health policy makers have proposed a new media campaign stressing our need to trust people who talk about science, as opposed to pure science itself. Jeff Foxtell, a pharmaceutical group sales manager and ad-hoc..

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Totally Organic Genetic Engineering

Mom & Pop Gain of Function Operations Spring Up All Over China What do you get when you cross bat, monkey, and rat DNA with a pinch of  something called a “human furin cleavage site?” “Very bad magic,” Yang Chao reports.  “We’re trying to create this year’s super lethal virus so that virologists and evolutionary..

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Harvard Revokes Admission After David Hogg Admits He Enjoyed “Friends” as a Child

Cambridge, MA • ICBTS News A rattled David Hogg was escorted off the Harvard Campus yesterday as troubling news leaked about a confession he made to a fellow student regarding his childhood affection for the hetero-normative television sit-com, “Friends.” “Confessions simply aren’t enough,” said fellow student, Ming Lee-Trowbridge.  “The fact that David actually laughed at such horribly..

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Fauci Cool With Trump Rallies, if Boot-Licking Encouraged

A Health Policy Change Every Few Hours Dr. Anthony Fauci, reversed his course on Trump rallies, a few hours after warning against them, after learning thousands of “Black Hebrew Israelites” would be offering boot-licking racial forgiveness opportunities on the way into the assemblies. “This obviously changes everything,” Fauci said, in answer to a question from..

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