Washington, DC • ICBTS News

It was all going well until the denture-grip failed.

During a routine racial reconciliation boot-licking event, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D – San Francisco), while trying to right herself after kissing the boots of an African American activist, slipped, came down hard, and bit the boot of “No Prisons Now” under-secretary Swayme Utanza.  Embarrassed staffers noticed she had left her false teeth firmly implanted in Utanaza’s boot, who didn’t appear to know he was striding around with the Speaker’s teeth stuck to the right toe of an expensive pair of Bernard Lug-Sole Crocodile-Embossed Combat Boots.  To make matters worse, the Speaker’s lip-stick was smeared all over the left boot.

“We have replaced the boots,” a senior staffer reported, “since there was a noticeable bite mark that couldn’t be repaired.”

Mr. Utanza appeared in good humor about the mishap and assured ICBTS News the incident had come to full closure, although his office and the Speaker’s staff are in ongoing talks about several more events.  “You don’t get to bite the toe that feeds you.  November is coming up soon.”