New York, NY  • ICBTS News

Three Days after a pack of New York teenagers randomly beat an off duty New York firefighter, Skarde the Flesh-Eater, a Third Century BC Norse warrior appeared near a Queens, New York park, anxious to observe more brutality.

“This actually beats most of the really awful stuff we did,” Skarde observed.  “It’s just so random.  I mean I’m excited and I want to learn these kids’ technique, but it’s also a little unsettling.”

Balancing an overlarge hammer on one shoulder, and appearing to wear the skull of a former enemy on his belt, Skarde whistled nervously.  “I just hope they know I’m on their side, if you know what I mean.”

When asked how Skarde was able to make safe passage through so many centuries and so much distance so quickly, just to take in the scene, Skarde raised his eyebrows.  “Are you kidding?  Help from the great dark lord of the underground.  We haven’t seen this kind of savagery top-side, since before the Pilgrims landed.”