Neptune, Oregon  • ICBTS News

A small west coast toy manufacturer is introducing a new child’s toy encouraging children to learn about the magic world of virology and its relationship to pandemics.

“Yes, that’s part of it,” explained product manager Karen Monterman, “but the exciting thing about this kit and board game is that it encourages children to learn the power of social pressure.  After the children learn to invent a very powerful virus by making super pathogens that don’t actually exist in nature, they learn the beauty of science in fighting the problems created by scientists.  We see social pressure as a very necessary skill in a world that doesn’t seem to make sense.”

“Say,” Monterman explained, “a child draws the ‘Close All Restaurants’ card.  She will face the difficult task of actually taking restaurant-shaped sugar cookies away from the other players and then eating them in front of the other children.  This teaches children that some people’s work is essential and others’ is not essential.  After the one child finishes all the cookies, they all hold hands and shout ‘we’re all in this together’ or they lose another piece of candy.”

When asked if the company was prepared for the public’s passionate response to including an actual hypodermic needle in a child’s game, Monterman appeared puzzled.  “Look,” she said, “these kids get something like 90 shots before they reach their sixth birthday.  Is it really anything new?”