St. Louis, MO  • ICBTS News

In the wake of horribly anti-black racist graffiti that inspired a student walk-out, participants expressed sadness, confusion and renewed resolve upon finding that the horribly backward white supremacist thought to have done this was, in fact, black.

School Superintendent Keith Marty reported the troubling conclusion of the district’s investigation. “The student responsible is not white.”  In response to this disturbing news, an audience of activists groaned with displeasure and in the distance someone muttered, “well, damn.”

“This is a bit of a set-back,” admitted Cassie Deaverbill, spokesperson for EOWN, (End Our Whiteness Now), “but the search for some actual white supremacy, perpetrated by actual white people, will continue, because we’re absolutely certain it’s out there. Somewhere.”

In the wake of hoax hate events of the Jussie Smollett variety, Deaverbill is encouraging the white and woke to do the noble thing and offer themselves up as sacrificial victims.

“We’re absolutely certain that white supremacy is just about everywhere in our society,” Deaverbill observed, “but we just can’t seem to put a face on it.  At least the right kind of face.”

Deaverbill thought it might be high time for a white person committed to the cause of rooting out white supremacy to stage a fake hate crime and then take the consequences for it.

“Frankly, it’s embarrassing,” Deaverbill admitted. “Everyone from General Milley to Attorney General Merrick Garland is worried about a white supremacy that rages unchecked in this country, but just when we think we have a real injustice we can sink our teeth into, it becomes another Dave Chappelle routine.  We need a hoax, but the right kind of hoax.  We’re doing it wrong.”