Christchurch, New Zealand  • ICBTS News

“They are coming in space suits, with needles!”

Visibly frightened Taliban fighters huddled by the thousands, behind the high, razor wire fence of Christchurch International Airport in New Zealand Saturday, unable to find safe passage back to Afghanistan and safety.

Abdul-Fattah Ahmadi, 27, scanned the distant hills for signs of the vaccination squads that have been set loose upon the country by New Zealand prime minister Jacinda Ardern.

“Our intelligence was caught off guard,” Ahmadi claimed.  “We were informed the prime minister would allow 90 days of infection rate increase before sending out vaccination squads and locking down the city, but she closed the entire country down in 12 hours, all because of one Covid infection.”  As Ahmadi spoke, a New Zealand special forces unit forced an Afghani woman to the ground to administer an experimental Pfizer booster shot.  Another small child was arrested, nearby, for reading an Ivermectin article that violated New Zealand community standards.

“I’ve seen jihad,” Ahmadi observed.  “But nothing like this.  This kind of fundamentalism makes jihad look like a Tupperware party.”