VATICAN (ICBTS News)
Highly placed confidential sources close to Pope Francis may help explain the recent trip and fall incidents plaguing the holy father. He is apparently experiencing a great deal of fatigue from cosmetic surgery designed to make him look more like 1950s television star William Frawley who played the character Fred Mertz in I Love Lucy and Bub O’Casey in My Three Sons.
“This pope,” said one source, “more than any other in modern history wants to project a kind of jovial, comic vibe. There are heavy issues facing the world, such as climate change. No one is talking about climate change and the Pope certainly wants to talk about it; it’s heavy stuff. Polar bears are dying and the Pope certainly cares deeply about them.”
When asked why Francis chose a 1950s television star for the new look, our sources revealed a surprising side of the former Archbishop of Buenos Aires. “He’s a huge William Shatner fan, but he thought the Star Trek captain’s image might project too militaristic a message to world Catholics, who are now trying their best to be nice as they can to Muslims, so as to avoid further carnage. He thought the hair implants would be a touch over the top too.”
Although William Frawley began his career as a dancer, the pope has no plans to appear on Dancing with the Stars, promised our source: “He dances around so much stuff as it is.”