New York, NY — ICBTS News
In the wake of yet another act of Islamic extremist terror, New York Mayor Bill de Blasio has proposed a new addition to New York public school education — surrender studies.
“Look,” said the mayor, under the weight of heavy questioning at a recent press conference, “I’m convinced we haven’t really found a way to make sure Muslim immigrants know we’re prepared to fully surrender. Raising a white flag may be a well understood symbol in our culture, but can we say that works for all cultures?”
In addition to the controversial “young artists tax,” a $1,000 transfer fee from young writers and actors trying to make it in the big city to Somali newcomers, de Blasio, has proposed a range of economic incentives for Muslims to consider avoiding jihad.
“It’s not that jihad is a bad thing,” de Blasio said, “but we’re trying to channel that jihad and give it a New York flavor: Slam someone’s hood when you cross the street and flip the bird at pushy drivers. Yell profanities. Extort them. Put out a hit if you have to, but let’s avoid the big, messy truck attack — and for non Muslims, let’s explore new and interesting ways to say ‘go ahead, walk all over me.'”
The mayor’s Surrender Studies, with components geared towards elementary, high school, and college levels, will encourage non Muslims to accept blame for global terror, memorize Q’uranic prayers, and keep an open mind about FGM. The plan requires all students to devote at least three hours a week towards receipt of a certificate and, in a move sure to cause union tension, will actually require “Rubber Room” teachers, getting paid to sit out instruction for infractions, to give surrender a second look.
Canadian Prime minister Justin Trudeau has heaped praises on the plan and London Mayor Sadiq Khan was even more emphatic: “It’s about time.”
