Miami, Florida — ICBTS News

Forget somber dark grays and deep blacks —  and start thinking canary yellow or “fruit-pop purple.”

Fresh off her altercation with President Trump and General Kelly over remarks made by the president to a grieving widow, Congresswoman Frederica Wilson (D-Florida) has announced she will be teaching a course on proper grieving attire at the John F. Kennedy School of Government at Harvard.

“Normally,” said a spokesman for the congresswoman, Kent Terlow, “you don’t think ‘Liberace’ at a funeral, particularly a military funeral for our country’s bravest soldiers.  You normally wouldn’t be thinking a large pink cowboy hat encrusted with sequins, set off by pearl earrings the size of golf balls, but this is a different era and the congresswoman thinks a bright, cheery, over-sized, even ‘rock star’ presence is helpful to gold star families.”

Congresswoman Wilson’s attire has become a signature statement, and one that inspired a rules discussion when she was elected to congress in 2010.  She believes that hat prohibitions constitute sexism and has fought for amendments allowing broader brims, even if this would require more congressional seating space to avoid injury to colleagues.

The new course at Harvard will also include tips for “getting at the grieving constituent first,” “controlling the narrative of the tragedy,” and “appropriate methods for listening in on any consolation offered by another public official.”

“It’s not 1957 anymore, and it’s not even 1983,” said Turlow.  “In another era, a grieving family might be alarmed by someone approaching them in a fringe glitter tunic and crododile boots with diamond toes, but this is 2017, and it’s about time people realized their grief is also owned by the public.”

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