Mobile, AL — ICBTS News
In the wake of the Roy Moore story that took four decades to break, the Washington Post has discovered peripheral evidence of more problems in the Alabama senate race. It is becoming apparent that multiple women have come forward with evidence that heterosexual males do exist among Alabama voters.
One unnamed source told Washington Post reporters that during a square dance class held at a public school in 1981, a male high school teacher, attempting to demonstrate the “do-si-do” step, brushed against her buttocks as he passed her, back to back. “I just wanted it to be over,” said the woman. “I’ve never been so humiliated in my life.”
But even more women have reported that not one, but dozens of Alabama men, have given every appearance of being attracted, sexually, to the opposite gender. Reported evidence includes: looking, complimenting appearance and clothing choices, opening doors, and generally looking goofy and adolescent when women are in the room.
“It’s unclear what steps we might have to take,” said Mitt Romney, former presidential candidate, “but clearly, these voters need to exempt themselves from the franchise during this election cycle.”
“And I mean right now,” said Senator John McCain. “Any of these backward behaviors need to eliminated from weighing in on the Alabama senate race. I may have to work with someone elected from Georgia. I mean Mississippi. I mean Alabama.”
Comedian Jerry Seinfeld and Actor/Director Woody Allen were contacted for their reaction to this story but did not return phone calls.
This is an evolving story and may include even more dramatic evidence that Alabama males are attracted to younger women. Developing…
I can remember, going to high school in Texas and college in Louisiana, that there were a lot of heterosexuals practically running wild. To a lot of us it seemed almost natural. But what else can you expect from the backward south?
I was shocked. Apparently actual heterosexual behavior is still being observed in the South — from a distance at least.
I moved to Texas to get away from that behavior, only to find it is rampant in The Lone Star State.
We (boys and girls) liked it. I’m glad it’s still rampant. Thank God for the backward south.
Alabama woman here…and I confess that most of the men I know are, in fact, heterosexual. I did see a person at Walmart this week who confused me & the other ladies I was with…but—it’s Walmart. I also have to admit, though, that we are a stubborn, rebellious people who will most likely to remain practicing heterosexuals. Just ask anyone who has worked in an Alabama nursing home, and we can tell you that we remain that way til the very end.
Does it trouble you that the heterosexual men might actually vote in the senate race? It must be very difficult to take.
So far they have made very sensible choices. And, considering that most see right through the current BS re the Senate race…the rest of the nation may need to fear that heterosexuality might spread to other states. Of course, that dreaded Common Sense germ is prevalent in many of these Alabama men. As shocking as it may be to some, most men here actually believe they have a right to voice an opinion about abortion…even claiming up to 50% of the DNA in a child they fathered.
Well, if “voting while a heterosexual male” catches on, I’m beginning to see why DC is acting so panicked.