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Apple Re-names Genius Bar “Absolution Table”

Cupertino, CA  ICBTS News Dedicated Apple users intimidated by asking bright young techies a dumb question at the Genius Bar can now add spiritual self-doubt to the process.  Apple Stores throughout North America will now be called “Absolution Tables,” in a move the company thinks will more accurately reflect the spiritual and intellectual dimension associated..

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Church Fight Breaks Out Over Adult Coloring Books

The Annual “God is What You Make Him” celebration at Honeyville Community Church turned violent last week when the church ran short of Max Lucado adult coloring books, according to multiple eye witness accounts. “It’s like the old baseball cap days at major league games,” Pastor Tim Danson explained.  “Once a year we give away..

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Cliché Police Freeze Liberal Accounts

Mountain View, CA  ICBTS News Thousands of left-leaning social network accounts have been frozen over the last two weeks due to an unintended side-effect associated with content-policing.  It appears that the drive to de-monetize conservative blogs and block politically incorrect social network accounts has actually had a reverse effect.  The  anti-cliché component of the policing software..

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Big Glob of Jimmy Kimmel Sanctimony Escapes Studio

Hollywood, CA  ICBTS News A food service worker at the El Capitan Theater in Hollywood narrowly escaped a large rolling ball of pure sanctimony that slid off the stage, past several crew members and into a temporary work area. Hector Ruiz of Documented Catering Services was given first aid treatment for an abrasion he received..

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Hugh Hefner: Throwing Out the Babe

Hugh Hefner died this week.  It’s not fake news.  Three different women in my life blurted out the same words, almost immediately upon hearing it: “good riddance!” Another female friend of mine on Facebook had a different reaction. She loved Playboy magazine, the interviews, the advertising, the cartoons, the Vargas girls and the photographs of..

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