We were fighting over an airplane. That was my first memory. The airplane was an apple crate, and we were three years old, and when you sat inside the crate, you imagined the cockpit and the wings and the propeller, and I remember it being a pretty good little reverie, especially if you could..
Month: December 2013 - page 2
“Father, I would have wisdom.” “Then you must read, ponder, contemplate..” “Who shall be my teacher?” “A man of wisdom, who knows the Word.” “I know of such a teacher.” “Who, son?” “A man called Bill O’Reilly.” “…Son?” “Yes, father?” “You should consider making shoes.” (more…)
Plains, Georgia ICBTS News – Witnesses describe a disheveled Jimmy Carter sitting on the curb, explaining his side of an altercation that took place between former President Carter and his wife Rosalynn, shortly after 11 PM Sunday night. “These things happen,” said Sergeant Ronnie ‘Ducks’ Hickson, of the Plains sheriff’s department. Earlier in the evening,..
Internationally famous entertainment magnate Oprah Winfrey has returned from a recent trip to Utah in a state of depression over the lack of racism on display in various retail outlets around the city of Salt Lake. “I’ve never seen her this down,” said a source close to Oprah’s travel coordination team. “We were able to..
Doing the Dictators Proud Here is what I still find startling about the entire GLAAD public communications manifesto: removing sexuality and religion from the discussion for a moment, the precedent of any group declaring a preemptive ban on criticism feels creepy and totalitarian. Imagine yourself unable to express, say, any negative opinion about Republican leadership..
“God Hates Rural Jackasses” Or… A Few Thoughts on Pastor Michael Hiltzik’s Recent Sermon in the Los Angeles Times If you never grew up in a religious community, you might not understand how religious you really are. Even if you claim to be a proud, free-sailing atheist, you do have a religion; you do..
Madison, WI (Rueters) – A groundbreaking study out of Hollick University is shedding new light on the mysterious ritual of dating. In a $10 million federally funded research project, studies indicated the vast majority of men who ask a woman out on a date, only to be turned down, feel disappointment. “In case after case,”..
Boston (Rooters) – Psychologists at Mather University have just made public the results of a three year, $25 million federal study on the effects of positive, well-intended criticism: apparently, people don’t like it. “We followed 1200 subjects,” said professor Arnold Rosen, “all of whom self-identified as people who genuinely want to improve their lives by..
Washington (Rueters) – According to a new White House report, health care exchanges all over the country are seeing dramatic enrollment increases among a special kind of fortunate citizen: lottery winners. “It’s very dramatic,” said press secretary Jay Carney, “we’re seeing increases among lottery winners by not just single percentage factors but — and I..
The Market Place of Approved Ideas A few of my friends are Phil Robertson scoffers, not because they disagree with his position on New Testament sexual morality, but because they feel certain the controversy was manufactured. A revelation of this sort makes the already shrill gay lobby scream bloody murder, and the faithful rush..